Obama Biden USA

My Aim Is True

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Is that what you’ve been waiting to hear from me? Because I’m so happy to be able to finally say it and mean it.

First, we haven’t spoken in so long and I need to clear the air. Hear me out and don’t get angry. You turned your back on me and it hurt. It can only help us if I’m honest about how angry  I’ve been feeling. Then, I’ll  leave it on the floor. You were f*cking arrogant for so damn long – conceited in every way. It’s like you’ve expected adoration since birth, unconditional love for no real reason, simply because you exist. Of course that put me off. I’m your type remember? I’m Independent; I speak my mind, which was fine as long as I didn’t rip you. You can’t have it both ways. Yeah, you’re great looking, hot actually, but a pretty face and a nice crib only go so far. You did a lot of stupid sh*t and messed up a lot of people who looked up to you. You used to be all, like, “I’m so exceptional, that’s why I get blamed for everything. . .”  COME ON! Exceptional for sure, in your voracious consumption. Your substance abuse, massive debt, shady friends, insatiable greed, aversion to personal maintenance,  filthy habits, ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude made you a pariah, not just to me, but to my entire family and all my friends. I was ready to leave, go shack up with Bangkok and lick my wounds. Okay, I’m done venting.  

And, almost overnight there was the huge shift.  This morning I pinched myself and the reality holds. I honestly didn’t expect such a profound change  - I didn’t think it was possible. I’m astonished. I didn’t think you could do it. I didn’t believe, and I am deeply sorry for that.

You’re turning the ship around, and I’m ready to be there for you. You’re finally taking responsibility for your actions and not blaming everyone else. Courage is fessing up, and you really seem to understand that now. You struggled, you grew, you reached out for help – you changed. You’ve worked so hard to transform yourself and you seem so much happier now, and happy to be generous with the little you have. Kindness suits you and it’s sexy too. Wanna move in together and, uh… well possibly, maybe get married?

Pause.

What? Say what? You’re a woman? How could I not have…?  Well, um, I love you anyway so let’s, um, go for it.  I can deal. I’m game. It’s love, it’s right. And it’s right, and a joy, to commit to the one you love in the eyes of the world. Nothing unnatural about it.  

Pause.  Quick, sharp breath intake.

But – hell! Oh wait. Sheesh.  Could it get any worse, any more ironic? The same day I uh, committed my heart to you, they, you, I don’t know  -  passed a Constitutional Amendment banning same sex marriage. It’s a cruel world America and, so typical, so arghhh!  We usually bring on our own troubles. YES WE DID. Has anything really changed then?

I love you and I hope one day I can legally commit to you. I want that right. I think of the ‘Loving v. Virginia’ case, 1967. You remember, even though you were young then. The Supreme Court ruled love could not be restricted by law. The brave Mrs. Loving alone, ONE Voice again, changed everything. This will not stand my love.

But I think I love that corny, flat, mild, home of Letterman and Larry Bird. And Louis Armstrong’s ‘Indiana’ is well, swell.

Indiana voters gave me hope during the primaries when they refused to fall for the great gas-tax holiday hyped by McClueless and HRC.  Senator Clinton won by less than 2% and, no matter what she said about being out-advertised, that state was Clinton-country to the bone, with a side of Evan Bayh. BTW, was she saying that you can buy the equivalent of 15 years of relentless familiarity w/just 5 months of advertising? That’s an insult to voters.

I am proud of my reddish brethren and curious enough to consider putting them on my Great Lakes Tour route. When, late on November 4 The Husband came tearing into my election night revery yelling, “Indiana Barb!”, I thought he was joking.  My retort was, “can Montana be far behind?”.  This was too unanticipated to appreciate on top of all the swing states going the right way too. It’s like your born-again ex-best friend finally realizing that banishing you to hell is really NOT what Jesus would do.  Do you know what I mean? Indiana is sort of a tweener- really familiar and really, really far away.  I didn’t think she was swinging, but when Ohio went early (6:18 PDT), I should have paid attention to her neighbor to the west, wedged up against Obama-vibe -emitter Illinois on the other side. As for my most cranky ancestral home-state of Ohio, her push-over status sealed the deal & we no longer needed the iffy Nevada or Colorado, just the more likely Iowa and New Mexico. Of course, none were iffy at all – big kiss to Nevada. I love a mystery and Indiana is that (and flat).

The Reluctant Enthusiast

This Saturday morning, after a 1 AM super-secret TXT message from Barack, he sent me this little email note asking for yet another favor (and of course another donation!):

Barbara –
I have some important news that I want to make official.
I’ve chosen Joe Biden to be my running mate.
Joe and I will appear for the first time as running mates this afternoon in Springfield, Illinois — the same place this campaign began more than 19 months ago.
I’m excited about hitting the campaign trail with Joe, but the two of us can’t do this alone. We need your help to keep building this movement for change.
Please let Joe know that you’re glad he’s part of our team. Share your personal welcome note and we’ll make sure he gets it:

http://my.barackobama.com/welcomejoe

Thanks for your support,
Barack

I didn’t receive the note until I returned home that evening. Did it ever occur to Barack that, after waiting up into the wee hours for his secret TXT message, then needing to be wide awake and reasonably sharp a few hours later to do his bidding, it might be a bit much to assume I would check my email? As usual, Barack needs instant gratification so he sent the the exact same ‘personal note’ to THE HUSBAND. Did I deserve to be punished for volunteering for a 9 AM “Calling 4 Obama” phone bank shift? Punished further I should say, as we were calling Republicans in Nevada (don’t even get me going on that bit of torture). I had suspected the ever impatient Barack of at least two-timing me (for all I know there are millions doing his bidding) but to make me a cuckquean to my cuckold is beyond measure. Does he even know or care that THE HUSBAND was a bit of fence-straddler in the early going?  Probably. Sometimes I think what Barack really loves is the challenge of snaring the hard-to-get.

THE HUSBAND, as usual, is feeling guilty, spending the day as he does all of his days, NOT doing any favors for Barack, except to avert his eyes while I do. For some reason today, perhaps because he doesn’t have to leave the yard, he decides to step-up and answer Barack’s request to ‘Welcome Joe!’. This is what he wrote:

Supports the Yard Sign without reservation!

Good choice. Smart choice. Confident choice. Now nail it. Times are
tough. The choices are stark. It is not the moment for pussy-footing
equivocation. McCain is the latest incarnation of the evil downside of this
nation, the party he represents needs to be rooted out of our collective
soul and reformed to a renewed set of ideals. Obama/Biden can do this, but
it won’t be done by appeasing the dark side. We need to be bi-partisan, but
we cannot cooperate with failed policies and selfish, self-aggrandizing
goals. No more FISA backslides. No more conditions on the ground. Defend
the principles of our Constitution and get out of Iraq. Then education,
education, education. Reverse the attack on the intelligence of the
electorate begun by Ronald Reagan, and return America to innovative
excellence. With a smart, thinking, educated electorate we won’t have to
worry about future Bush/Roves, they will be brushed aside as Goldwater was.
The people will get what they deserve only if they are smart enough to know
what it is. In electing Barack/Biden as a repudiation of every single fact,
policy, appointment, act and instinct of the Bush administration we are not
only saving the future of the Democratic party and the United States of
America we will also save the Republican party from itself. Attack and
expose. The truth is our sword. Honesty is our shield.

———————

Okay, I really could not have done better if I had spent all day trying, so I’ll swallow my pride and share the men. While T.H. welcomed Joe, you can tell his address was to impress You-Know-Who. I can smell a little passion, but I can be certain of a couple of things when it comes THE HUSBAND. Not only will he not leave the yard, but he won’t take out his wallet. He thinks he’s too cool to campaign, he wants it to look like his eyes are averted, which is why the above note is a strikingly unusual action. Normally, he just likes to watch.