Obama Biden USA

McPuppet Show: The Rapture We’ve Been Waiting For

S.S. McCain

9/11 never mattered so much as when I pondered Sarah Palin’s ABC interview with Charles Gibson. As David Brooks said, her political talent is real. But this is not ‘Idol’. I remind myself that Palin did not select herself, but ask, “Who did?” It is still our tradition, at least in the Democratic Party, to assume the potential POTUS selected her/his own VPOTUS.

The choice of Palin for next in line in 2008 is evidence that Rover smelled defeat. A blatant jettisoning of the GOP’s bedrock claim to be the party that “keeps us safe”, it’s more credible as a suicide pact, readying for a kind of Rapture, if only as political purge.

Alas, McProp is revealed. Gathering up the flocky evangelical vote, the GOP has set about showing the happily uncomfortable McCain the door, be it in 2 months or 4+ years.

I have a few suggestions for the Democrats:

Calling Senator Clinton - The next time Palin is used as an auto-indignification response™, Hillary, you should jump right in. Whether the cynics are right, that you want Obama to lose, or not, you may not have another near-term opportunity to showcase your strengths and effect a solution. Direct your famous ‘Fight’ full-throttle from the position you are being simultaneously lauded and used for by the GOP.

Calling Joe Biden - McCain’s National Security Card, and any pretense that National Security matters, apparently expired at almost exactly 7 years. But National Security does matter. It’s not everything, as they have been saying, pointing at the sky for 7 years, but lack of it is. Showtime, Joe. Your debate with Palin is the near-term defining event of your long career. Numb us with salient facts. No theatrics, hemming, hawing, “with all due respect, I’m gonna hit a girl” wincing, no fawning, no condescension, just show us your awareness and command of the protean complexities of world politics. Then, move on to the fallacy of drilling in ANWR, how OPEC really works, and the plan for job creation in green energy industries.

Finally, calling Barack Obama - You gotta keep getting up, rookie. 52 days left. Remind us of what you enumerated in that speech you made in Denver. Something about health care, education, sensible troop rotations and deployments…that our economic security, national security and stewardship of the environment are connected to each other, right? You had plans for us, we were asked to do our part, no one walks alone, and then BOOM! Upstaged by the audacity of nope by two dopes.  So, please repeat the promise. No one had time to consider it. The sequence was like savoring a delicate lobster mousse, whisked away in favor of an urgent, steaming bowl of Velveeta and corn-flake casserole; I don’t remember what the first course was.

I’ve got news for you Barack Obama. Lots of us out here are holding you to the hope we confess. So say it again.

The Reluctant Enthusiast

This Saturday morning, after a 1 AM super-secret TXT message from Barack, he sent me this little email note asking for yet another favor (and of course another donation!):

Barbara –
I have some important news that I want to make official.
I’ve chosen Joe Biden to be my running mate.
Joe and I will appear for the first time as running mates this afternoon in Springfield, Illinois — the same place this campaign began more than 19 months ago.
I’m excited about hitting the campaign trail with Joe, but the two of us can’t do this alone. We need your help to keep building this movement for change.
Please let Joe know that you’re glad he’s part of our team. Share your personal welcome note and we’ll make sure he gets it:
http://my.barackobama.com/welcomejoe
Thanks for your support,
Barack

I didn’t receive the note until I returned home that evening. Did it ever occur to Barack that, after waiting up into the wee hours for his secret TXT message, then needing to be wide awake and reasonably sharp a few hours later to do his bidding, it might be a bit much to assume I would check my email? As usual, Barack needs instant gratification so he sent the the exact same ‘personal note’ to THE HUSBAND. Did I deserve to be punished for volunteering for a 9 AM “Calling 4 Obama” phone bank shift? Punished further I should say, as we were calling Republicans in Nevada (don’t even get me going on that bit of torture). I had suspected the ever impatient Barack of at least two-timing me (for all I know there are millions doing his bidding) but to make me a cuckquean to my cuckold is beyond measure. Does he even know or care that THE HUSBAND was a bit of fence-straddler in the early going?  Probably. Sometimes I think what Barack really loves is the challenge of snaring the hard-to-get.

THE HUSBAND, as usual, is feeling guilty, spending the day as he does all of his days, NOT doing any favors for Barack, except to avert his eyes while I do. For some reason today, perhaps because he doesn’t have to leave the yard, he decides to step-up and answer Barack’s request to ‘Welcome Joe!’. This is what he wrote:

Supports the Yard Sign without reservation!

Good choice. Smart choice. Confident choice. Now nail it. Times are
tough. The choices are stark. It is not the moment for pussy-footing
equivocation. McCain is the latest incarnation of the evil downside of this
nation, the party he represents needs to be rooted out of our collective
soul and reformed to a renewed set of ideals. Obama/Biden can do this, but
it won’t be done by appeasing the dark side. We need to be bi-partisan, but
we cannot cooperate with failed policies and selfish, self-aggrandizing
goals. No more FISA backslides. No more conditions on the ground. Defend
the principles of our Constitution and get out of Iraq. Then education,
education, education. Reverse the attack on the intelligence of the
electorate begun by Ronald Reagan, and return America to innovative
excellence. With a smart, thinking, educated electorate we won’t have to
worry about future Bush/Roves, they will be brushed aside as Goldwater was.
The people will get what they deserve only if they are smart enough to know
what it is. In electing Barack/Biden as a repudiation of every single fact,
policy, appointment, act and instinct of the Bush administration we are not
only saving the future of the Democratic party and the United States of
America we will also save the Republican party from itself. Attack and
expose. The truth is our sword. Honesty is our shield.

———————

Okay, I really could not have done better if I had spent all day trying, so I’ll swallow my pride and share the men. While T.H. welcomed Joe, you can tell his address was to impress You-Know-Who. I can smell a little passion, but I can be certain of a couple of things when it comes THE HUSBAND. Not only will he not leave the yard, but he won’t take out his wallet. He thinks he’s too cool to campaign, he wants it to look like his eyes are averted, which is why the above note is a strikingly unusual action. Normally, he just likes to watch.