Obama Biden USA

Oh Yes I Can Read

At 102 cat-years old, a legendary lover such as myself with bad kidneys and IBS needs a price break on his meds to spend some dinero on a nice collar now and again.  Keep the ladies attentions.  Get me?

 I ain’t no illiterate LOL cat.  Bring on brother Obama ASAP, with anchovies please. I need my rights. I don’t mind that Sasha needs a doggie-slave to boss around (and you know that’s the deal cuz Malia ain’t allergic to dogs; jus’ that deep down she wants a sleek Felix*).  The little one will learn baby, she’ll learn. We are irresistible. I auditioned for this video - didn’t get the part. It’s all good though, because even as a mini-movie drags. Oscar will not be knocking and I have a reputation to uphold. When I want something or do some serious acting like it, you can point that lens right at me and it will melt filming my desire.  For real. I am all up in it when I gotta have it.  Ask my peeps. 

That cat is lip-syncing,  Can’t you tell? Lame as a Kibbles n’ Bits commercial.  His hair is a mess and method acting he is not. He doesn’t even know how to sleep properly.  That is some lack man. My guess is that cat is vegan and his dude puts patchouli oil on him to keep the fleas sympatico or somethin’ California shady like dat.  Bet you anything.  My buddy Bruce died supporting Barack all the way to his last nighty-night.  See About Us.  Now that is a tribute.  Peace Bruce. You won it for all of us man.

*Socks Clinton catted around and ruined EVERYTHING for us in the big house. And no wonder. Clints left him with Betty, who covered everyone’s tail in that house.  Now Socks be a goner.  Good looking dude - jus insecure without the real love.  Hang in there, man. January 20th is a comin’ and stem cell research is back in business. You are the Jackie Robinson of White House pets.

Looking mighty in 2 tones

I marvel as the Limbaughs, straight-faced, watch in fear, horror and simple base indignation as this election, our election, has quickly turned the United States into a very popular country in the world again. Intangible but overt good-will is trickling in: our allies are abuzz, rogue nations are pulling back to inspect the change-over. Our long missing democracy materialized early in the evening on November 4th, no longer just words, with the world as witness. Somehow Fox & Friends pretend not to notice, relentlessly negative. The Hannitys continue to blab about the danger of a President Obama, about how much we hate our country while they love their country unconditionally. Who believes that? Who believes that we all see the same country, and with the same degree of complexity and bias?

We just took part in the first truly “for the people, by the people” election since at least the 19th Century and that sucks? No acknowledgment by the Ingrahams, just an immediate pivot to :”We’re on the road to hell with Obama, and to hell with the rest of the world”. Is that really how they want to roll, rooting for continued failure on all levels? Is there a downside to Obama’s national approval rating rising to 68% post-election? The slight mood shift, perhaps a temporary sigh of relief at the end of a long, unnecessarily low-minded Presidential campaign, has aroused a hint of characteristically American optimism in spite of tumultuous indicators for the near future. There is a tacit agreement by the majority of the majority, to put aside divisive issues, and urgently work hard to work together, to resolve urgent issues. The deal was struck on November 4, 2008.

Are Fox & Friends unable to, if only as spectators, pull back and admire the audacity, that in our United States, we chose what I can now state without laughing to ‘hope’, pull together and get through this as individuals, communities and a nation (i.e., as the Obama campaign was run)?  How programmed are they to argue with apparent conviction, that their country’s power structure of domination by division, fear and control is anything other than a scourge?

Are the Limbaughs prepared to be jobless if everybody changes the channel because it’s just mean-spirited in lean times to peddle pessimism about the future of our country? Who will be left in the country they love, then, if no one is listening?

Barack Obama, although responsible for the looming financial collapse has, the Hannitys continue to insist,

never accomplished a single positive thing requiring a high degree of skill. Think on that. C’mon, not even the three-pointer he drained on his first try in Kuwait this summer? His money machine? We all loves us some Benjamins, right? Nope, as they have been telling us at every hour of every single day since January 3, 2008, he’s without a single significant achievement. For the next 60 days, the slacker Obama was supposed be picking out a dog with his kids - nothing accomplished again. And on that, well, we found out on 60 Minutes that the dog is also ‘deferred’.

Nothing at all has turned their world topsy-turvy, dislocated its center of gravity, and yanked its command-and-control switch. Now that’s something, if entirely unintentional. A revolution occurred, born of tacit agreement, spilling residual benefits everywhere, surrounding my belief with certitude. Yes We Did.

Did we agree to invite them along? Even the ones who…everybody? You’re a better person than we deserve rookie and I’m there with you. I’ll scoot over if they decide to join us.

*Sarcast-Insert™, see glossary

From 23/6.com, a joyful montage of election year repitition by ‘Our Very Own Bombast’:

Who knew? It turns out the country was in the tank for Obama.

Keith Olbermann

My Aim Is True

•

Is that what you’ve been waiting to hear from me? Because I’m so happy to be able to finally say it and mean it.

First, we haven’t spoken in so long and I need to clear the air. Hear me out and don’t get angry. You turned your back on me and it hurt. It can only help us if I’m honest about how angry  I’ve been feeling. Then, I’ll  leave it on the floor. You were f*cking arrogant for so damn long - conceited in every way. It’s like you’ve expected adoration since birth, unconditional love for no real reason, simply because you exist. Of course that put me off. I’m your type remember? I’m Independent; I speak my mind, which was fine as long as I didn’t rip you. You can’t have it both ways. Yeah, you’re great looking, hot actually, but a pretty face and a nice crib only go so far. You did a lot of stupid sh*t and messed up a lot of people who looked up to you. You used to be all, like, “I’m so exceptional, that’s why I get blamed for everything. . .”  COME ON! Exceptional for sure, in your voracious consumption. Your substance abuse, massive debt, shady friends, insatiable greed, aversion to personal maintenance,  filthy habits, ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude made you a pariah, not just to me, but to my entire family and all my friends. I was ready to leave, go shack up with Bangkok and lick my wounds. Okay, I’m done venting.  

And, almost overnight there was the huge shift.  This morning I pinched myself and the reality holds. I honestly didn’t expect such a profound change  - I didn’t think it was possible. I’m astonished. I didn’t think you could do it. I didn’t believe, and I am deeply sorry for that.

You’re turning the ship around, and I’m ready to be there for you. You’re finally taking responsibility for your actions and not blaming everyone else. Courage is fessing up, and you really seem to understand that now. You struggled, you grew, you reached out for help - you changed. You’ve worked so hard to transform yourself and you seem so much happier now, and happy to be generous with the little you have. Kindness suits you and it’s sexy too. Wanna move in together and, uh… well possibly, maybe get married?

Pause.

What? Say what? You’re a woman? How could I not have…?  Well, um, I love you anyway so let’s, um, go for it.  I can deal. I’m game. It’s love, it’s right. And it’s right, and a joy, to commit to the one you love in the eyes of the world. Nothing unnatural about it.  

Pause.  Quick, sharp breath intake.

But - hell! Oh wait. Sheesh.  Could it get any worse, any more ironic? The same day I uh, committed my heart to you, they, you, I don’t know  -  passed a Constitutional Amendment banning same sex marriage. It’s a cruel world America and, so typical, so arghhh!  We usually bring on our own troubles. YES WE DID. Has anything really changed then?

I love you and I hope one day I can legally commit to you. I want that right. I think of the ‘Loving v. Virginia’ case, 1967. You remember, even though you were young then. The Supreme Court ruled love could not be restricted by law. The brave Mrs. Loving alone, ONE Voice again, changed everything. This will not stand my love.

Enjoying Himself Like a Child

WASHINGTON—At a press conference on Monday, members of the Vietnam Veterans Alliance blasted Democratic nominee Barack Obama for his failure to serve in the Southeast Asian war that ended 33 years ago, alleging that during the conflict the candidate frequently engaged in games of T-ball.

Obama AWOL, just before a playdate with Bill Ayers

“While our boys were dying in Vietnam, Barack Obama was running around a little league field, laughing and having fun without a care in the world,” VVA spokesman James Lowry said. “John McCain left his wife and three children behind and fought bravely, but I guess Sen. Obama decided that practicing cursive and learning how to ride a bike was just more important than defending his country in her hour of need. I bet he wasn’t even able to point out Vietnam on a map.” Lowry later speculated that if Obama had been sent over to fight in the conflict, he probably would have peed his pants and cried for his mommy as soon as he touched down in Saigon.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/article.aspx?ID=6945

Palin Blasts Obama for Ties to Weather Channel